For many years the people of Mishka awaited the return of the long exiled brother of the King. Romo departed the city for two decades, during which he accomplished several feats. One of the upmost importance was his quest for Sati, his love. And finally after his search and long-lasting journey through the seven realms of the known world, Romo and Sati were on their way home. This was their true home and in their hearts where they hoped to die one day.
As Romo and Sati came within the horizon of the great city they once knew, anxiousness and great happiness came over them. Romo loathed his brother Botu, king of Mishka, at one time, but was filled by forgiveness by the gods for his brother. Romo himself was ready to enter the gates of Mishka now. Romo was ready to stay in Mishka and to forever stay.
In the King’s palace, Botu was ready to commit suicide soon. He could no longer handle the level of guilt for stealing the throne from his ever deserving brother, Romo. As he was ready to commit himself to death and plunge a dagger into his abdomen, he heard a low murmur among the town. Botu paused. He asked his wife, “What is the ruckus that has overcome the city of Mishka?” Botu’s wife looked off into the main street of the city and saw two silhouettes walking towards the palace. The people of the town were bowing as the two persons walked towards the great palace of Mishka. Botu’s wife fainted as she finally realized who arrived on the steps of the palace. Botu himself finally saw that it was none other than his great brother Romo and Romo's wife Sati. In utter disbelief Botu dropped his dagger and thanked the gods for the return of his brother.
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| Awaiting the Return of the King (audiopalungjit) |
Botu tried to speak to Romo, but Romo would not let him. Romo said, “It is okay. I forgive you.” Botu insisted on an apology, but Romo told him there was no need for it. Then Botu offered the crown to his brother while he kneeled before him. Romo did not immediately accept or refuse the offer from his brother for the crown. Instead he pondered over the thought with himself through meditation. The town of Mishka completely stopped for the time being. No cows were milked, no royal duties were fulfilled, and no one dared speak. It was a time for the whole town of Mishka to meditate with Romo and reflect upon themselves. All the town of Mishka patiently waited for the deserving brother Romo to make his decision.
After one week of meditation Romo spoke. “Botu, I shall not be king of the city of Mishka. You shall continue to lead the great city as you have done awaiting my return. I am in no position to run this great city as I have been gone for too long. The people trust you, my brother. The kingdom is yours.” The people of Ayodhya were shocked that Romo did not accept the offer for king, but the people of the kingdom showed respect for Romo’s decision. Botu was the most shocked of anyone of the city, knowing that many people in his situation would have taken the throne. Botu replied, “Many people will be born and pass in this great city, but none will be as noble as you, Romo.”
Author's note: This story is inspired by the story of Rama crowned King from the public domain edition of the Ramayana. I have changed the characters' names for my story and have given a twist to the end. In the Ramayana, the original ending includes Rama taking the throne and then sending Sita into exile. I feel that my twist to the end of this story would have allowed the Ramayana to have ended at this episode and allowed Rama and Sita to have stayed happily married. In addition, I was encouraged to change the ending of episode seventy-seven of the Ramayana, because I simply did not like how Rama's brave and noble character changed upon arrival back to the city of Aydohya. We see that in the Ramayana Rama's taking of the throne from Bharata changes his personality. Whether it be greed or power, he decides to end his marriage and provide an unexpected ending. I did not explain in great detail why Romo makes this decision or what his thoughts were during his week-long meditation. However, I wanted the readers of my story to imagine the different possibilities to why he declined to be king of the city of Mishka. Some theories include: not wanting to be corrupted with power, showing ultimate forgiveness to his brother, or for personal reasons of wanting to leave the city. My theory is that it showed his brother ultimate forgiveness. All in all, I believe this ending is one I would appreciate as a reader and I hope you appreciate it as well. Thanks for reading.
Bibliography: Ramayana, The Epic of Rama, Prince of India, condensed into English verse by Romesh Dutt (1899).
Tyler,
ReplyDeleteI want to take this chance to say I enjoyed meeting you to. I hope we get the opportunity to work together sometime soon. I liked your take on the traditional story of Rama. First, changing the names of the characters helped me realize early on that this was not going to be a simple retelling of the original story. I don't think the actions undertaken by Rummo/Rama are entirely unrealistic for his character. He has just come off of being exiled for years and fighting a great battle, there is no reason that he should want to immediately take on the stress of being king. I think the second likely reason is respect for Bummo, as you mentioned in your authors note. I look forward to reading more of your writing, I think that there is a lot of potential if you continue to come up with twists on the traditional story like this.
Andrew
Hey Tyler!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story! One of the storytelling reading diary options I wrote about this week was also changing the ending to the Ramayana, because I did not enjoy this portion at all.
I can definitely see a reason Rama would not want to take the throne when he got back. With Rama being so wise, I can assume whatever decision he made is the right one.
Tyler,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the names that you gave to your character, Rummo and Bummo. This was the first this that caught my eyes and I found it really interesting. Your storytelling way is very creative. I loved your idea of changing the end of the Ramayana story. You didn’t write about the reason for Rummo giving away his throne to Bummo. This is a very creative way to make your readers think and come back for a follow up story. I wonder why did you chose to show Bummo as a weak character. Bummo was about to commit suicide. What were you thinking about? you for sure did a good job in letting your reader to think about what happened to the story? I also wonder if Bummo was really happy after Rummo gave up the kingdom? All over I find this story very interesting with a lot of possible ways it can go.
I wish you all the best.
Hey Tyler,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your story a lot. It was very creative and displayed a new outlook on the Ramayana. I am glad that you allowed Rummo (Rama) and Sati (Sita) to be together in the end. I did not like this in the original Ramayana and I thought about writing an alternate ending too. I agree with Andrew in that you should continue to twist the plots in original story. It is very creative. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Hey Tyler,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your story a lot. It was very creative and displayed a new outlook on the Ramayana. I am glad that you allowed Rummo (Rama) and Sati (Sita) to be together in the end. I did not like this in the original Ramayana and I thought about writing an alternate ending too. I agree with Andrew in that you should continue to twist the plots in original story. It is very creative. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Tyler, I really enjoyed your rendition of Rama’s return to Ayodhya. I think that Rummo’s choice to deny the throne makes him appear as a very generous and forgiving character, which really drives the ideas of Dharma. Also, Sati is probably my favorite character name out of all the ones I’ve seen so far. I also think that your paragraphing style fits well with the story. It feels very traditional, like I’m reading an old novel, and I think that old-school feel fits well with a story about kings and succession. You might take a look at your sentencing though. There are run-on sentences here and there, and generally, they feel a little long. I think that feeling comes from a lack of commas in places, so make sure to punctuate. That said, I think your paragraphing is quite good. It divides the various thoughts and scenes in the story very clearly.
ReplyDeleteTyler, good job with this story. I like how you twisted the story around. The point of view of at the end of the story where Botu is thinking about the decisions he has made makes for a dramatic ending. I can’t imagine what he is feeling after doing what he did. The relief he must have had when he realized that Romo was home had to be the best feeling anyone has ever had.
ReplyDeleteHi again Tyler.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your second story that you have added to your portfolio. I liked the way you have set up your portfolio introduction and the fact that when you click on a story link it opens the link in another tab. This is helpful because I was easily able to switch between you blog and your portfolio.
As for your story, I thought it was a good idea to ad a twist at the end of the story. It made the story interesting and exciting. I also thought you name changes were quite clever and brought the story to a different location as well as time period. This is an interesting story because it inspires thought about the well developed characters.
My only suggestion is to keep doing what you are doing because it looks good so far!
Looking forward to reading more from you
-Sara
Tyler,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story the Two Brothers. The ending was my favorite part because we, as the reader, were able to get inside the mind of Botu. He is showing signs of remorse for what he had done in order to get the throne from his brother. The way Romo finally comes back with Sati is satisfying because Botu is able to gain happiness again with his exiled brother. I wrote a similar story where a brother tries to steal the throne by killing his father and brother. Also, I really was able to follow the story very well because of your paragraph structure. It is great to read a story that is easy to follow. In your author’s note, I like how you explained that you left some parts of the stories vague to allow for us as readers to make up our own ideas. I sometimes like to have the story told though so maybe mention his thoughts vaguely so it can help the reader understand why certain actions were done. Overall, great story! Thanks for sharing.
Hi there Tyler! Absolutely loved reading your taking on Rama being crowned. You design in the story was flawless. You started with a mission, added drama and ending with curiosity, great job! I also loved the new names you chose for Rama and Sita. I don't know how much if this is correct but Sati along with being the name of Shiva's first wife, the definition also means true. I just thought it was pretty cool you chose her name to be that instead of Sita. I appreciate that you left the reason behind Romo decision on not taking the throne a mystery. I love mysteries and you created a good one! I want to believe that with true love, he does not need a crown to make him feel powerful or worthy as long as he has his beautiful wife by his side, he will be alright. Can't wait to read more from ya!
ReplyDeleteHello Tyler,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your portfolio story titled “Two Brothers.” It was nice how you changed the names of the characters to Romo and Sati, which is not very different from the original Ramayana story. I think that was a nice idea because that was a nice way to follow up with the same characters which were in the original story. I liked it how the story was creative and descriptive, which definitely helps the reader and a great way to write a story. I liked the way you formatted the story in various paragraphs because that helps in reading the story easily and plus, divides up the thoughts into each paragraphs. In addition to that, the story itself was very clear and easily readable. I enjoyed reading you retell story blog of Ramayana story. I am looking forward to read more of your storytelling blogs and thanks for sharing.
I read the Princesses challenge and the Two brothers. I was really hopeful from the introduction of this blog with the promise of the stories being told in a more Irish way. The Two Brothers was my favorite of the two stories. I liked that in the end you had something different happen from the original stories, and that was the fact that Romo refused the crown from his brother. I thought that was a good departure and showed that Romo was indeed honorable because he had never ruled before and did not know the city.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what would have happened if there was another obstacle in the way. What if someone had been waiting in the wings trying to steal the crown. What if as Romo rode in he kidnapped Romo and forced Sati to say he was Romo in order to take the crown and Romo revealed the disguised imposture at the last moment. This would have added more conflict to the storyline.
Hi Tyler,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story! I like how you changed the ending. I have actually made a story of the Ramayana as well in order to change the ending. I felt like Sita and Rama had the right to be happy especially after all that Rama went through to get her back from Ravana. I also agree with you about how you disliked Rama’s character after he arrived back at Ayodohya. His death and the way he just gave up Sita didn’t seem to flow when throughout the whole story he has been noble and brave as you mentioned. I also like how at the end you made Romo give the throne back to his brother. I am actually make my storybook project over brotherhood and this specific scene really stood out to me. I also love the image you used. It give the story more of a realistic feeling to it.